Chronicles of Chubbo: Leslie's Blog

Inspiration

2011-08-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

One of the blogs that I follow closely is managed by a girl named CJ. I want to promote her blog here in hopes that she can be helpful to others who also struggle. Her journey to lose approximtely 250 pounds is incredible and she has followed the low carb lifestyle since 2003. I don't recall how I stumbled onto her story, but I'm glad that I did. When I'm having a bad food day or feel like this journey is just too difficult at times, I just simply read success stories and her story is the top of the top. I constantly learn (again and again) that it's not going to happen in 1-2 months. I have to be patient and remember why I'm doing this. Giving up would be the biggest insult to myself. Even if I lose slowly and it takes me two years to get to where I need to be then fine. I feel great during the process.

I befriended CJ on Facebook recently. She is kind enough to make herself avaliable as support to others following the low carb lifestyle (find her as "Low Carb CJ"). Recently we were discussing the length of time before weight loss is really noticed. Her advice, as someone who is experienced and has seen great success, is better than reading any book or online article about how to lose weight. This is the only piece of advice I truly need to stay motivated:

"The bigger you are and the more you have to lose the faster you will lose the weight at first. But you also have to be very strict, drink lots of water, get sleep and no cheating. When I went back on induction the second time I lost 115 lbs over a year's time. The rate of weight loss varies per each individual. The important thing is to realize that this is a way of healthy eating for LIFE and NOT just a quick fix that you use to lose weight and then jump off it to go eat carbs again. If you do that you're gonna gain weight back."

Surrounding myself by great advice, great people, great food, and a great outlook for my health I have no choice but to succeed.

You can find CJ's blog here: CJ's Low Carb Corner

Oh, and I lost three pounds last week. :)

What to eat, what not to eat...

2011-08-07T16:58:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry for the lack of an update within the past week or so. I haven't had a lot to say, but I did want to update today and give some progress and talk about some of the foods that have gotten me into a bit of trouble. I haven't weighed myself the past few weeks because I was becoming obsessed with the scales and everyone knows your weight from day to day can be dramatic. I'm going to try and see if I can go a 2-3 weeks without weighing myself. I also didn't weigh myself because I knew the indulgement of some foods were going to show. No, I didn't cheat, but even when you watch carbs you still need to watch portion control.

I still feel really good and I'm still sleeping well. I'm still hitting the gym 2-3 times per week, and I'm really trying to convince myself to go daily. I think it'll come with time and more weight loss. I've almost been on this lifestyle change for 1 1/2 months and I can't believe the all of the positive changes that my body as made. To continue my success I had to make some changes in my diet. I found that my addiction to food was still affected by all foods, not just high carb ones. There are several low carb foods that I've had to tuck away.

I had to completely cut out any and all Atkins bars. If you've ever had one, then you know they taste like the real deal. Dr. Atkins recommends using them as an "emergency food", i.e. when you're away from your daily routine or surroundings and you need something low carb. Sometimes when I'm out I get very frustrated because everything is just full of carbs, but that is when a bar would come in handy. For me it was more than that. My addiction to sweets took over. I'd have 2-3 per DAY. The sugar alcohol contained in the bars didn't help my GI tract either!

Oh, pork rinds...

I love pork rinds more than anything. They are zero carbs per serving, but full of salt. The salt can make you gain weight (water retention) and just isn't good for you in high quantity. I could sit and eat an entire bag if I really wanted and I'd feel bloated the next day. I had to quit buying them because of this reason. I'm better off to stop at a store every now and then and buy them single serving smaller bags. That way if I eat the whole thing I don't feel guilty and there isn't anymore around to eat. I can eat them plain, but there is also a very delicious BBQ flavor. They are a very nice treat, but need to be a rare treat.

It was hard to give up sugar-free jello with whipped cream. I will still on occasion have plain sugar-free jello (orange is a front runner, so delicious), but the sweet topping had to go. I can't stick to 1 tablespoon of that stuff. Sadly, I can sit and just eat the whipped cream by itself as a dessert! I (stupidly) used to think that was okay, but those carbs/sugars add up and spike blood sugar levels.

I also stopped buying sugar-free juices (and flavored water), diet soda, and any other flavored drink. They keep from drinking actual water, which I'm still drinking 80-100 ounces per day.

I'm anxious to weigh myself because it has been a while and since cutting these items out I'm sure to have made a difference.

Working out and still going strong!

2011-07-30T10:36:00.000-07:00

I had a great workout today! (Woo hoo!)

I am starting to go more often during the week and staying longer. The past few weekends I have been doing two-day workouts! That's just insane to imagine, but I love it. I remember my first time on the treadmill I was barely able to stay on for five minutes without becoming embarassingly short of breath and needing to drink the water fountain dry. Today I did a fat burning mode for 40 minutes (keeping heart rate around 130), cardio mode for 10 minutes (keeping heart rate around 150 -- fast!), and then 10 minutes on the exercise bike (while my legs burn like crazy). That's a big step for me considering I've been a member of the gym for less than a month.

I absolutely love, love, love the feeling of sweat dripping down my face and into my eyes and mouth. It's addicting.. It's proof that I'm making a difference in my life regardless of how long it takes. Most people could never imagine me having a gym membership and going faithfully. There is no turning back now.

People are starting to notice the weight loss, and well, there is truly no greater feeling. It helps to feed my fuel to keep getting towards my goal.

My post-workout protein shake with only 2 net carbohydrates:

Dining out is okay!

2011-07-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

When people are on a diet (or a lifestyle change) they think you're not allowed to go out to eat at a restaurant. That isn't true and everything out there is greasy and fried. I enjoy cooking at home, but I enjoy eating out a lot more. I just like the social aspect of it because you can sit down with a good friend or family member and just relax, chat, and of course, eat some good food.

There are so many low carb options for me when I'm out. Of course, breakfast time is most perfect because most options are just naturally low carb: eggs, bacon, sausage, ham (not cured with sugar), etc. I like going to Cracker Barrel because they serve breakfast all day. Though it has been hard to give up their biscuits and gravy, but it's for a good cause! They even have an entire section of their menu devoted to low carb meals, but I haven't checked that out yet. Most restaurants offer some type of meat and vegetables for lunch and/or dinner. Of course, salads are avaliable pretty much everywhere you go. I also look at appetizer options because usually I can get my hand on some chicken wings. You have to be careful what sauce is on there because most are sweet because they have sugar in them. I usually ask for blue cheese dressing (not the lowest carb dressing, but I'm weak for it) and plain wings.

So, just be aware of what is on the menu. You may have that yumtastic pasta dish staring you down, but who cares when you can have a big 'ole juicy steak?! (...and if they bring bread, don't eat it!!!)

Photo above is my dinner while dining out over the weekend at an Asian resturant. Spicy thai chicken with mushrooms and green peppers, mixed vegetables of celery, zucchini, broccoli, cabbage -- sooo good!

Going down!

2011-07-21T21:15:00.000-07:00

Down six pounds today!

I am so stoked. Last week was bad for me as I only saw a one pound loss. I am unsure exactly what worked well for me this week, but I decreased diet soda consumption significantly (from one or two sodas per day to two or three per week) and increased veggie consumption. I had read somewhere that the majority of your carbs need to come from vegetables, so I made that change. I was consuming some vegetables when eating, but mostly meats. I'm going to avoid doing that and try to eat vegetables with each meal. It had become difficult to find things to take with me to work, but Subway is across the street and I sometimes walk over there and get a salad (which is always amazing).

Subway salad with spinach leaves, sliced chicken breast, bacon, shredded cheese, black olives, cucumbers (and a side of honey mustard dressing which I used for only a few bites)

I'm looking to hopefully post some before and after photos of myself soon. Stay tuned.

Water, water, water!

2011-07-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

I took my two dogs out to the dog park this morning because it is absolultely beautiful outside, but I forgot to pack the most important thing: WATER! The dogs ran, jumped, chased tennis balls, and eventually found shade under a tree. I forgot to bring along their water bottle and mine also. So, as I drove home panting as much as the dogs were, I realized I should make a post about my water consumption. It's probably one of the most important things to go along with a change in your eating habits.

I try to start my day with water and end my day with water. I usually drink 8-16 ounces of water with my breakfast. It's also so easy to keep on chugging at work because I keep a 32 oz. Nalgene bottle at my desk. I can easily drink 1-2 per day at work by sipping through my straw as I do paperwork, etc. Sometimes I do drink a little more, but it's rare for me to consume 3 during a work day. My job is not sedentary by any means, but I do have moments where I'm at my desk for long periods of time as this makes it easy. We have vending machines and coke machines at work, but if I fill up my bottle first thing in the morning then it distracts me from wanting to go get a soda (which would be diet anyway).

I do well drinking water in the evenings also. I keep a 16 ounce water bottle at home and continually fill it up throughout. So I do pretty good making sure I stay hydrated. My urine is the color of lemonade, which according to Jillian Michaels is the sign that you're getting just the right amount. If your urine is the color of apple juice, then DRINK WATER! If it's the color of the water already in the toilet bowel...then please slow down. You want to see some color in it and you don't want to flush out your electrolytes.

So, water is important and we all know that, but how much do you consume?

Keep moving on...

2011-07-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

I thought today would be an exciting day for me. I was excited about weighing in as I have been following the Atkins induction phase religiously. I have never felt better either. I am sleeping well, my skin is really clear, and I have noticed an increase in my energy level. I feel as if this diet is the one that was meant for me all along. I did follow a low carb diet a few years ago and saw weight loss along the way, but did not follow it strictly. I allowed myself to eat foods with a trivial amount of sugar, salt, drank diet soda daily, etc. and didn't really keep track of every single carb or calorie intake. I never even called it Atkins because I wasn't actually following his plan nor had I read any of the books. Now that I am following Atkins appropriately and really focusing on doing it right, I can't wait to reap the benefits.

So, back to the point of my entry, I was in a great mood this morning. When I stepped onto the scale I was a little surprised to pretty much see the scale not budge from last week’s number. I barely lost one pound this week. I truly thought I would see at least a few pounds, maybe 5-6. I felt like I was more behaved this week and really increased my water consumption and have went to the gym twice a week for at least 30-40 minutes. I am still in the very early phases and expect to be in the dramatic weight loss stage as I hear people call it. I was a little disappointed.

I can't say that I am at all disappointed in myself because I worked my tail off. I ate exactly as I should have. There could be many reasons as to why I didn’t succeed as well this week. Correcting those potential mistakes is my fuel for the upcoming week. I can't give in. I can't give up.

I was told by a friend the fact that I had a really good workout (probably the most intense yet) the evening prior to weighing in that may have contributed as my muscles may have been inflamed or irritated and would reflect on the scale. I don’t know how true this may be. I also want to completely cut out diet soda and hard candy. I have been sucking on tiny sugar free candies to help my sweet tooth, but I know these add up. And...my Atkins bars? I have to put them away (at least for now). They have been saving me during harder times, but having 3-4 per day is probably not ideal. I have only been eating the ones that are approved for the induction phase, but I am assuming the sugar alcohols could be potentially affecting my results.

So, onward and upward. I'm going to keep trying.

What plan am I following?

2011-07-09T09:37:00.000-07:00

I hate the word diet. I hate, hate, hate it. Yes, some people do need to diet to lose a few extra pounds, but I am making a lifestyle change. The word diet should go in the trash along with all of the food that I threw out.

I have decided that a low carb and high fat diet works best for me and is my only option. I have dramatically failed various other plans. As of this post, I have been doing low carb and high fat for a week and two days. I have had success on this diet in the past and happily looking forward to results very soon. I cannot express how better I feel. I am sleeping so well, feeling so rested, and have so much more energy.

It sucked the first few days, I'll admit that. I cried a little, cussed a little, and craved every single thing I should not have. Anytime you change your eating habits your mind and body are going to try and fight it. It was used to chocolate, ice cream, potato chips, cookies, fried foods, soda, juice. You get the picture, right? Now I drink at least 60-70 ounces of water per day with a rare caffeine free diet soda. I eat protein with every single meal. When I shop I walk on the outside of the store. I never go down the aisles as this is where all of the junk is (well, most of it). I buy fresh veggies, low glycemic index fruit, lots of meats and cheeses, and of course, Atkins products. Atkins products are what is helping me to stay with the program when I feel down about it. It's still too early to say that I no longer crave carbs and sweets.

I am still eating large portions for now as my body adjusts to this change. I have also joined a local gym and have told myself that starting out I should go at least twice a week until I feel I am able to go more often. My first visit there had me on the treadmill for a sad 15 minutes and 1/4 of a mile walked. My second visit was much better with twenty seven minutes and half a mile walked. This will improve! I also mow my yard so I get a lot of exercise doing that. For me, slow steps create fast success.

My two week point will hit on July 14, 2011 and I'll starting recording weight loss results.

Remember, it's not a diet...it's a lifestyle change.

Introductory...again!

2011-06-30T18:00:00.000-07:00

Hello, readers!

Having an online blog is not a new thing to me. A few years ago I attempted to lose weight and posted in this exact spot week after week attempting to stay motivated as I wrote about my daily success (or failure). Daily success is exactly what I prefer to call it because I'm can only take it one day at a time. Losing weight is so hard for me, so I try and not be intimidated by it all by thinking about the many months and years ahead of me. That success that I briefly had was a loss of 40-50 pounds, but somehow along the way I lost all motivation and packed it on again. I had a period of situational depression from a personal issue that was a huge bump in the road. I was very mad at myself that I gave in to my old ways, but I never did anything to change it. Not one thing.

Every single time I would eat something unhealthy I would regret it once all of the food was consumed and would promise myself to start again tomorrow. It would never happen. I constantly went through this cycle, for weeks or months. Back to my old self, I find myself lazy, short of breath, tired, depressed, embarassed, angry, disgusted (the list goes on)...all because of food, all at age of 26.

If you're new to my blog let me give you a bit of history:

I wasn't always a huge child. Up until around the age of 7 or 8 I would probably consider myself of average or normal size. I was into various sports and outdoor activities and would consider myself at that time very physically active. As a child I played softball for many years. I also played outside a lot, rode my bicycle, jumped on our trampoline, went roller skating, so of course I was helping myself by staying somewhat active.

I truly believe I became addicted to food because it tasted so good and I got a lot of enjoyment out of it. What kid doesn't love the way pizza tastes? Or candy? Cookies and cakes? Very soon I found out that it wouldn't take much for me to eat an entire bag of potato chips or an entire row of cookies. I could eat 1-2 slices of cake or pie along with a large serving of ice cream. An entire box of Little Debbie snack cakes? Yep, I could devour them. A bag of bite-size candy bars? Easy. I never understood why I didn't feel full, but I consider myself a scarfer and would eat things so quickly you'd probably never believe I actually ate it if you didn't see it. I ate so quickly that my brain did not have time to tell me that I was full. Then as the years progressed I feel that it became a hobby. I would just eat, eat, eat. I stopped playing softball at some point and soon found that I enjoyed more sedentary activies, i.e. reading, writing, web designing, browsing online. I just went to school, came home, and ate food. That was (and still is) my life. It almost wouldn't matter what kind of food was around. I could be a little turned off by the way something tastes, but because it's food I would eat it anyway because it was something to do. It was becoming a horrible addiction, but I was still too blind to recognize what I was doing to myself. I was becoming a little chubby at this point, but I guess it wasn't morbid. A chubby kid is sometimes a cute kid, right?

During my pre-teen and teenage years I still don't think I was at my worst, but I was a pretty big girl and would watch myself get even bigger over the next few years. If my mom cooked dinner I always had to have seconds, maybe thirds. I would eat fruits and vegetables that were in the house (if they were - not always a big thing growing up), but I would also snack on junk food all day and night. I think it was becoming a bigger problem for me once I hit high school and began to drive. I would constantly stop at fast food restaurants after school let out. I would spend this time by myself, so I could easily eat a few hamburgers, fries, and wash it all down with a soda before getting home for dinner, and I would act like I was starving. It wasn't that I didn't eat lunch while at school, but I was addicted to food. Simple as that. I don't know if anyone ever caught on to that, or if they did then I had no clue. I felt like my secrets were safe with me. A lot of my money earned from my part-time job at a grocery store would be wasted on food and going out with friends. When I went out, I would have to get an appetizer, main course, and a dessert every single time. I didn't feel like I had a good time unless I was surrounded by things to eat.

I think it started to get bad when I realized I would hide food from others. It took me a very long time to accept this about myself. Typing it here still brings shame to me, but I know that I need to admit it to be able to deal with it. I recall one situation while I was at my dad's house (I was a bit younger at this time, maybe 9 or 10 years old) and I was eating Campbell's chicken noodle soup straight from the can, still cold. This is when I realized that it almost did not matter what form food came in as long as I could have it. My sister walked in and asked me what I was doing and, of course, I was completely embarassed because from what I can remember I had just eaten lunch or dinner. I don't recall how the situation ended. Another often situation would be me coming home from work and hiding food in my purse or bag from one fast food restaurant while walking in with food from another restaurant so it looked like I had just had one meal with me. I wanted everything and anything, but I didn't want my secret to be known.

Even now, as an adult, I still harbor ill feelings towards my addiction. I can easily eat an entire large pizza and breaksticks. If I go to McDonalds then I get 2-3 hamburgers, large fries, soda, and of course...an ice cream cone. Why am I doing this to myself? I don't want to die before I'm 30. I'm ADDICTED. I have an eating disorder. I did talk to a mental health counselor a few years ago, but truly felt like she did not have the energy to help me and quit going after a few sessions. How could she? At the end of the day, I can only help myself.

I'm embarassed by my obession with food, but I know it's not something I fight alone. It's also something I'm well aware of, but feel that I can't change. My love for food doesn't have to change, but my bad habits do. I want to change my life for the better. I don't want to be the perfect weight, but I defintely want to be healthier. If you want to join me on my journey to better myself please do so. Support is definitely not a bad thing, but at the end of the day I'm doing this to stay alive. I'm doing it for my health.

A mother's words

2011-01-15T20:44:00.000-08:00

This letter from my mother is from January 2011. I deleted older entries of this blog so that I can start over. I kept this one as a reminder that I'm not just doing this for myself.

I have shared this blog spot with only a few people, so if you're reading this then you're one of the few (for now).

One person I shared the blog with was my mom. Her response did make me cry a little because of so many reasons. They are words that I've been waiting to hear for a very long time. I no longer have to hide behind my secret.

I am proud of you. It takes a lot of courage to admit you need help. I know that maybe I don't support you like I should, but I also don't want to make you feel bad either. YOU know you need to lose weight and get healthy. I do too. Only YOU can make this work. I cannot do it for you, but I can be there for you during this journey. One day at a time is all it takes. It wont be easy and it wont come off fast. You have done it before and I have faith that you can do it again. When times get tough, don't let food become your comfort. Find your solice in something that will make you feel better. I know you know all these things already, but I want to help you because I want you to be around when I will need you. I know how you feel about keeping a secret from everyone. It is very hard and it takes a toll on you as well, and you know that I was much bigger than I am now. At my highest, I was 260. (1984) Although I lost 75 pounds at one time, I have struggled with up and down during the last 20 years. I vowed I would never do it again and I haven't, but it doesn't mean I like being 200 pounds either. I am sure you would love to be 200 pounds or even 260, so I want you know that I am here now to help you. I may not have the answers on how to lose weight, but I do have the answers on how to support someone you love. I love you and am proud of you just the way you are, but I will be happy when YOU find happiness in life and not food.

Love,
Mom

This message from my mom will continue to be my fuel on this journey no matter how long it takes.